Unwritten

Sick at home..

2008-09-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

So, I've been sick at home for the past few days. You know what would make things slightly better?!

A cherry limeade from the new Sonic.

Dave Barnes - Close Your Eyes

2008-08-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

When the future gets real tough.
And silence speaks too much.
I'll reach my hands to you.

I'll be all you need, close your eyes and just believe.

Love, it can break your heart,
But that's where true love starts.
Trust me, i'll show you.
Life, it can beat you down,
But i'll still be around.
There's nothing I can't do.

I'll be all you need, close your eyes and just believe.

Life is shorter than you think,
It can get lost inside a blink.
Don't let it pass you by.
And me, I've loved you from the start,
You're the blood that beats my heart.
Search and you'll find me.

I'll be all you need, close your eyes and just believe

Hunk

2008-08-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

I think John Mayer is dead sexy with his new hair cut.

Anybody think he looks like Jim Carey now?

Big accomplishments this week

2008-07-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

- I finally got my "new to me" phone working!! YAY! Cheers!! (The crowd goes wild!!) After a week of frsutrations with power cables, batteries, software, and sync issues.. we've got them all worked out.. I can now make it through one night without my phone dieing, while being plugged in. :)

- I purchased the new Gavin DeGraw CD, and my crush was rekindled. It was long over due for a new CD from him... Check out his self titled CD and buy it.. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

- My mom came and saw my new digs. Means a lot to me. :)

- I got my work email inbox down to 1 email... 24 hours later, it's at about 10. Not bad friends, not bad.

- I'm re-addicted to the show Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. It's such a silly show.. but my roommate Chrissie and I enjoy watching it together. :)

I don't have much to report.. but certain people were complaining about a lag in posts. So, here's to you Nashville. Here's to you.

Tomorrow it's off to Indiana, for Junior High Camp. I hope I get to spend some time on the lake! I miss being on the water!!!

Open-Heart

2008-07-09T19:35:00.001-07:00

I leave for Student Impact's annual summer camp, Sandblast - in less than 24 hours.

Terrified
Excited
Nervous
Exhausted
Anxious
Hopeful

...All rolled into one...

This is my 6th Sandblast.. wether as a student or on staff. And I have LOVED every single experience. Some more than others.. but the ones that I'm on staff, they get better and better. Easier with time, right? NOT! :)

My heart is so excited for the 500 kids coming this year. Many of which I know, lots that I don't. Knowing how impacting these experiences were for me in highschool, I pray fervently that God would work in these students in the same way.

As a staff, we work so hard to create experiences at camp where students are going to experience God in new and fresh ways and worship like never before. Kind of crazy that after almost 6 months worth of prep and planning, these significant 5 days are here! Do these students really know what they're getting themselves into? This is going to hopefully be a significant marker in their stories. Getting to be a part of those stories is an honor. I count myself lucky.. and the fact that i get to do this as a job?! Who would've thought. Surely, not me.

Things I'm praying for:

-Everyone's saftey. We drive almost 5 hours to camp, and take lots of busses and trucks.

-Endurance. The production team does a lot of manual labor while there. Once you see pictures, you'll understand. :) I'm praying that we don't lose steam.

-Fun and community. I am SO super excited for the crew that I'm bringing. I hope that we grow as a team and have fun, even in the stressful moments.

-Preparing the hearts of students. I hope that students are attentive to hearing God this weekend. I hope that they learn. I hope that they are excited and know that we've been praying for them, by name.

-Patience. This is something that I've been working on specifically for myself in the last few months. Camp is a big test of that. I am praying for flexibility in tough situations. Coupled with that is a good attitude in stressful situations.

I've been playing this song lately, and love the lyrics. Thought I'd share:

_Hosanna: Hillsong United_

I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Hosanna

I'm going to try and post updates along the way, but at least I'll update next week when I get back.

PRAY!!!

Frustration with my Stupidity

2008-06-28T17:35:00.001-07:00

Well friends, here's a glimpse into the scatter-brained Chels that is in existence these days...

I packed up most of my belongings on Thursday night (with help from Christy Anderson.. you rock!!!) and have been living on close to nothing for the last couple of days. I am moving on Monday.. so I have some clothes, sheets on my bed, and toiletries. One thing that I did pack up, was my desk.. contents inside, and all. I sat down today, only to realize that i had a pretty hefty Physically Therapy bill due - 2 days ago!!!! That is not like me folks.. but you see - the pace i've been running at recently is insane. It's amazing that I make it out of the house every morning with 2 matching socks and makeup on.

Well, I decided to give Athletico a call to let them know that the payment would get to them this next week - and that I was sorry it was late. I had to leave a message, seeing as how it's the weekend. I'm crossing my fingers that they find me rather pathetic, and don't penalize me.

Well, I cut some checks, change some addresses, etc.. and realize that I don't have stamps.. cause I packed them!!! Grrr. Who knows what box in the garage they are in. So, I head out on a little adventure. Post Office #1 in Algonquin: No self service station! Grr!! No luck. Post Office #2 in Lake in the Hills: Yay for self service station! Because there's a $1.00 limit on your purchase at those machines, it sold me 3 stamps. lol. Well, who cares - I'll save extras for later. I charge $1 to my credit card, apply some stamps, and send 'em off.

Well folks, I get home tonight.. and look at the only pile of paper work left on top of my desk - only to find the stamps that I DIDN'T pack on the bottom of said pile.

So, yay for a scatter-brained Chels, and a stupid charge to my credit card, and the gas wasted to drive all over creation for un-needed stamps.

I hope my brain stops feeling like jello soon. Did I tell you that I have a horrible short term memory? :)

Cleaning Out My Closet...

2008-06-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

...I found this journal entry...

"Dear God,
You worked powerfully in the hearts and lives of a lot of students this weekend. Thank you for working in me. Thank you for helping me to grow as a leader and as a child of God. I have fully come to realize that I can't do it on my own. I am not alone. I have friends and family who love me and want to take care of me. Thank you for giving us space in our schedule on Friday to pray, to be in community, and to love and help one another. Thanks for showing us your love through John. Thank you for making this experience a positive one for the first-time staff and first time high schoolers. Thank you for the opportunity for these kids to connect with you through worship. Thank you for speaking into and through Casey. The love that you have to share is immeasureable. Thank you for allowing me to finally fit in as a part of the team. Thank you for that community, and for the fun. Your love is being shown to me through these people. You are: majestic, powerful, loving, all-knowing, a peacemaker, peaceful, pure, righteous, holy, father, majestic, worthy, blameless, passionate, humble, divine, wonderful, breathtaking, worthy of praise, almighty, beautiful, storng, something to speak about, considerate, gentle, considerate, and oh so much more. How could I not want to be in relationship with you? You love me as a child of God, more than anyone else ever will love me. You have given me more than I can ever imagine. You love, grace, and power bless me. You are amazing, and sometimes I don't feel worthy. Thank you for all you've done and all you have left to do.
Luv,
Your daughter"

---------------------------------------------------

I don't remember in what context it was that I wrote this. I don't even know what year. I'm guessing it was back in 2004-ish when I first came on the Student Impact staff in South Barrington. Coming back from a staff retreat today, with that very same ministry's staff.. I'm reflecting on a lot of the same things. I value this team so much. They do amazing work. Sure, we all have quirks and things to work through.. but I couldn't imagine working anywhere else, with anyone else at this stage in my life. I love what I do.. and am so committed.

Amen.

Thoughts I had to get out there...

2008-04-07T21:40:00.001-07:00

~ I am slightly amused at the Ped Egg that has just recently been released.
http://www.pedegg.com/?directLoad&uid=5A5DF47556395D0A2E869AC48C7B1408
Every time I see it in stores or on TV, it causes a great source of humor, disgust, and amusement. Check it out. And don't you dare try it. Please just go and get a pedicure. :)

~ I discovered today, while in conversation with a friend, that I have lost all motivation for dressing professional any more! I have gone back to my old ways of jeans and a t-shirt and gym shoes for work. I figure, I'm just gunna sweat later at work - might as well be lazy. And while I'm at it, why don't I wear a black shirt so that no one can see the sweat! LOL Welcome to Chelsea being a techie again. Oiy. Since I've moved back over to the "Dark Side" of production, I am needing to re-buy my blacks again... tons of new black t-shirts and pants. This brings me to my next point...

~ I hate pants shopping, more than going to buy a swimsuit. I would love to buy pants that never fall apart. Once you break in a pair of pants, I want to keep them forever. But the fact that the last couple of pairs have grown holes in the crotch, I obviously shouldn't keep them. Tempting, but there's no use.

~ I think that Chicago needs to jump on the bandwagon of free parking - like most of the suburbs. Don't they realize that I'm a single college girl, who WORKS AT A CHURCH!? I don't have an average of $30-50 to spend every time I stay the night in the city, let alone on gasonline! It's kinda crazy. Wish it didn't have to be.

~ I have taken my I-Pass for granted. This week, I've been putting up with a rental car. I forgot to grab my I-Pass out of the CRV, and caught myself blowing through I-Pass toll lanes because it's so natural. Illinois has done a good job at making it REAL inconvenient to have to pay cash at a toll both. You have to cut across 6 lanes of traffic to remember to pay! Rediculous. Come back to me I-Pass, please?!

~
This is my friend Nicholas Barron. He rocks. He's amazing to see live. He started playing last night at The Motel Bar in chicago last night. Come see him play. Your life will be changed. Your experience will be enhanced if you drink a French Martini while listening. Just my advice.

~ So, I haven't been to any concerts in 2008. This is quite the switch from 2007, when I had the goal of seeing one show every month. (I acheived it by the way).
Maybe this year I will set the goal of not seeing any shows?! I dunno. Haven't done it intentionally. Just stayed busy and out of debt without it. :)

Alright, I'm out of random ideas. Till Next time Chicago.

Updates Yo

2008-03-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Well, lots has happened in life since that last post. Life got slightly turned upside down there for a while... but it seems to have been toppling back over here, recently.

Physical therapy is going so well!! Looks like I will have 3 or 4 more weeks of therapy, and then I'll be done!! It is always really tough when I go, but the phsyical therapists and assistants are so awesome. It's a great atmopshere - lots of joking around and humor. I kinda look forward to going. :) Just as stretches and exercises start to get any bit easier, my PT increases the level and pushes me that much more. We did an eval for the first time, since my first visit in - and I passed with flying colors. YAY!!!

The saga continues with the broken camera. I finally got ahold of a person at Ritz Camera's corporate headcourters, and they replaced my old camera with a "new" one, in the same model. I received it a couple weeks ago, and now this "New" camera is totally busted too!!! What the heck!? The screen on this one is totally shot. So, I've been trying for a week to get ahold of the rep that I dealt with and she's totally avoiding me.. not returning calls or emails... very frustrating.

My car is going into the shop to get a new bumper on Wednesday! Thanks to my tax refund. :) This new bumper is needed, thanks to the accident with Christy. :( Oh well - life goes on.

Work has been uber uber crazy.. not unbearable - just really busy. I am doing a lot of events outside of normal Impact weekend responsibilities... I Tech Directed Good Friday for Main Stage.. that was awesome!! What a cool experience. In the next few weeks, I'm stage managing the Next Gen conference (working with Switchfoot and Psalters), Stage Managing part of the Sports Conference, Tech Directing a New Comm, and Producing at McHenry. Lots of good experience, but it makes for a very busy schedule.

Once I get through this hectic season (as spring always is), I get to go on vacation!! Joel and I are going to help my bestest friend Kristyn and her hubby Joe and their baby CJ, move from Maryland to Maine, then we're headed back to Kentucky to see the rest of the fam. It's gunna be awesome. I can't wait to have some carefree fun. We will be celebrating my 22nd birthday on that trip too. What should we do?

Well, I'm off to finish some work that I'm procrastinating on now... Talk to you later!

Singles Awareness Day and Beyond

2008-02-19T19:59:00.001-08:00

This blog is to update you on information since Valentines Day. Here goes:

First off, Valentine's Day stinks. Everyone says not to pay attention to it, not to get sucked into the hype and the gimmicks and the teddy bears, but I totally do. I hate spending any valentine's day alone, but unfortunately, that's how I've spent most of them in my life. It's just no fun. Luckily this particular V-day I spent working at the Creek and then Producing at a regional. So, I kept myself busy.

But we're all going to mark Feb 14th, 2008 in our minds as the day that the NIU shootings occurred. Not only were these shootings happening geographically close to home, but they affected people close to me - so it hit close to home for me emotionally too. My mom was on the campus when the shootings occurred. Thank God that she wasn't in the same building, let alone the same room. My brother in law heard about it on the news, and right away called her to make sure that she was ok. She said the whole campus was on lock down - which was the case for a couple of hours. They released her. In those few hours of waiting, we realized that a very close family friend also attends NIU. Not having any idea of his class schedule, we called and texted - only to leave us with 0 response. I was praying real hard that he wasn't there... We find out later that he was at work that day - never on the NIU campus, and was just not able to call/text back. I'm so glad that those two people who are very close to me - are safe and ok. It is a shock when it happens in another state, and is such a different reality when it happens a few towns over, to people that you know. I am keeping the victim's families in my prayers daily.

Fast forward a couple days:

Willow's junior high camp was this past weekend. They took 800 junior highers to Michigan for the weekend. (I think President's Day Weekend is "National take youth groups to camp" weekend.) Many people were sick, many people were injured. One leader ends up in the hospital from a major head injury. Leader has to be left in the hospital, as all the campers and staff come back on Sunday night. Scary.

Same Day:

My sister's high school ski retreat was this past weekend as well. One high school boy in my brother-in-law's small group ended up in the hospital from incurring a major skiing accident. He lost his balance while airborne and landed face-down, with his head hitting a rock. Although He was wearing a helmet, he hit the rock in such a way that it crushed a part of his skull just above his left eyebrow. (Sorry to be so graphic.) So, my sister and brother-in-law both being leaders/staff for this event, they ran into great amounts of fear and trauma too. Update: Matt had immediate surgery and has come out of his coma. He was responsive to things today, and was able to sit up for periods of time. Prayers have been answered!!

Same Day, Later that night:

I have a sunday night "ritual" these days. Going to Chicago to a little local hole-in-the-wall bar. Get together as many people as I can muster up, get a little dressed up, and head down for a late night of great company, good drinks, and fantastic music. Well, this particular Sunday night, I had straightened my hair (thanks Chrissie!!) and threw on a cute outfit, and headed out the door. I was going to meet up with Christy at the Creek and leave her car there. (We figured it was better in the parking lot at the creek, than my street - since it was supposed to snow that night..) Well, major ice was all over the roads and parking lot, as I drove to Willow that night. I enter the parking lot and see Christy's car from far away. As, i get nearer, my car loses control on the ice. My front bumper ended up colliding with Christy's back bumper... Long story short:
-I hit Christy.
-Christy's car becomes undriveable.
-Spend an hour trying to coordinate insurance.
-Spend an hour waiting for AAA towing.
-Spend 45 min driving to the body shop in McHenry.
-Drive Christy home.
-Chelsea gets home about 4 hours later, having a messed up car and owing Christy 900 margaritas.
In the end, everyone is safe - and Christy's car will be fixed next week - but it's one of those frustrating things that you hope NEVER EVER HAPPENS - especially with a friend. We didn't end up going downtown... maybe next week guys?

One of the implications of my car being damaged, and now my premiums increasing, is that the money that I planned to use on a new camera, a new winter peacoat, a new laptop bag, etc... are all fleating memories.. and that makes me sad too. :(

Because I've been kind of a downer about all this stuff going on in the last few days, one of my vices has been slurpees!!! :) I've had 2 in the last 24 hours. Kinda makes me feel like I'm in high school again. There's just something very comforting about 32 oz. of pure sugar water. (Pretty nasty when you say it like that..)

So, new experience #56 this weekend - beginning physical therapy for my knee problems. Many of you know about the pain that I have in my hips, knees, and ankles... that pain has increased in the last month since starting my "new" job in production. So, I decided to do something about it. I started physical therapy on Monday! On the inside, I was pretty nervous... i knew that I was going to have a male doctor. After spending lots of time on Monday morning trying to pick out my appropriate "phsyical therapy attire"... I show up to the office, fill out paperwork, then am given about 20 min to sit and wait. In that amount of time, I saw about 10 different p.t.'s walking all around the facility, about 5 of which were men. So, I start wondering which is my p.t. I was hoping for the 40-ish year old ugly guy in the corner, but of course not! The guy that walks into the lobby to get me, just so happens to be the YOUNGEST, MOST ATTRACTIVE, MARRIED P.T. there! It was the most awkward appointment, because now my doctor is like 4 years older than me. We made small talk, and he knows people I went to high school with! Crazy! Hopefully after a couple more appointments, it won't be quite as awkward. If you want more details, and need a laugh for the day, call me and I can tell you all about that appointment.

So, now 24 hours later - my body is yelling so loudly at me. My hips are in intense pain, but I know that that will fade away a little bit, as my muscles all get stronger.

So, I miss flip flops a ton. I went and got a pedicure today - and now have hott pink toes again... and folks, you have no idea how happy this makes me. :)

This princess needs her beauty sleep. Thanks for reading this insanely long update on what's been going on in my world.

Luv ya'll!

Chels

Rock Stars

2008-02-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

Everyone should check these guys out:

No apologies...

2008-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

For the lack of blogging in the last month. The feelings of blogging are few and far between, but for some reason in the last few days, I keep saying "man, I need to blog about that". So, here you have it folks. Another random blog on some of my sightings and experiences recently.

So, I'm standing in line at the Post Office on Saturday morning, and I'm watching a guy work on putting his mail together at the little "median station" in the middle of the line. When he licked one of the envelopes, a weirdness occurred. No, not the "squishy face" representing a nasty taste of glue... but rather the fact that this guy fully inserted the flap of the envelope into his mouth, appearing to suck on it - rather than just stick his tongue out! I was laughing so hard on the inside watching this guy, wondering what he was doing!?! When you saturate an envelope so, it will no longer stick! Doesn't he know this! I feel as if he was just asking for some full-mouth paper cuts.

I feel the need to blog about how dag-gum cold it is outside. For those of you reading, who don't have the pleasure of living in the fine city of Chicago during this blazing cold season - count yourselves lucky, but allow me to fill you in. It has been so cold in the last month, that the following has occurred: every morning when I go to start my car: It starts fine. I let it warm up. I throw it in drive. I hit the accelerator. Nothing happens. My car's engine is essentially frozen. When I drive past those automated bank signs that update you with the weather, they have actually been programmed to go into negative numbers!!! I Didn't even know that was possible. When I walk outside with wet hair: my hair freezes within a matter of .03 seconds. When I walk outside and fall on my patootie in the driveway, my jeans immediately freeze to the ice covering the ground below. It makes you want to swear like a sailor every time you even think about having to go out for lunch. Never have I wanted so badly to pack my lunch for work, just so i don't have to walk outside. :) Welcome to Chicago folks. Welcome.

So, for those of you over the age of 21 - I am going to highly recommend something of the alcoholic variety. If you ever get a text from me and I refer to it as an "FM"...this is what I mean: It's a little slice of heaven made up of vodka, Chambord, fresh pineapple juice, and a lemon peel. It is fabulous. :) French Martini. Yummy. If you ever have the desire to try one, please tell me. I will go with you. But only if you're 21.

I'm getting in a not so creative mood, so I guess I'm done. Comment. No one ever comments. Leave me luv.

Peace out home fries!

I Am A Random Individual...

2008-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

A female - standing 5 feet, 6 inches. I have a passion and a drive in life that cannot be tamed. I was created to be a unique individual with my own crazy quirks, traits, and habits. I try to love unconditionally. I am horribly independant. I need some alone time every day to catch up on life and to make sure I'm mentally stable. But, don't get me wrong - I love friends and family and love spending time with others. I am addicted to Chipotle, Flip Flops, and Slurpees. I don't enjoy the mountains. I love the beach - but get sunburned SO easily. I love to travel - and have 19 more states to get to in the next 3 years. My sister and I are so close and love spending time together. I am a leader, and I have a passion for helping high school students grow in deeper relationships with Jesus Christ. I am on a team that is dedicated to helping people experience God in new and fresh ways. I am committed to the vision of my church. I horribly miss all my friends in the military. I can't stand my toes not being polished. If you ask me to parallel park my car, you might see me cry. I love getting professional massages. I have no idea where my curly hair came from. I love bargain shopping. I am addicted to Target. I love my Honda CRV. I am OCD about keeping my car uber-clean. I love cuddling. I only use one pillow when sleeping. I love chick flicks. I love taking pictures. I love capturing people's smiles. I have two dimples that I can't get rid of. I am not worried with how others view me - so I don't mind dancing and making a fool of myself in public. I have a scar on my ankle from 4-wheeling, cause I'm die-hard like that. I am a concert junkie. I have seen tons of shows - and have seen rarely a bad one. I am the baby of my family. I can't go anywhere without my iPod. I think a guy in uniform is the sexiest thing alive. I can't wait for the day when I can own my own house. My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. I used to collect rubber duckies - but I think I'm growing out of that fad. I LOVE babies. I could rock a baby to sleep every day, and be so happy. I sleep on the right side of the bed and set 2 alarms, every night. If I don't set an alarm - I can sleep for up to 14 hours. :) Did I mention that I like cuddling? My arms and legs fall asleep probably quicker than everyone else I know. I love to sing, and don't get to do it often enough. I cry every time I watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I buy music on I-tunes quite regularly. I can't wait to find my future husband!!! Quirks: I am chlosterphobic and am afraid of the dark. When I get the urge to work-out, I like to run or go swimming. I can't grasp any foreign languages. I don't look good in hats. I hate seafood and nuts. I am always on time - or early. My favorite drink is a French Martini.

Take it or leave it... it's me!

Sittin' in the Dark.

2008-01-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Brennan and John, I was brutely awakened to the fact that I haven't blogged in a month. My response to John was that I don't think I'm creative enough for blogging. It takes a lot of time for me and doesn't come naturally!!

So, alas boys - here's a post for ya tonight. This post is random and probably a little more brutaly honest about where I stand in life right now - than some of my previous posts.

I smiled today when I realized that my new red swingline stapler that Tyler gave me for Christmas, matches my brand new red desk in my new office. I am in the middle of yet another transition at the Creek. This makes for transition #5 out of (only God knows) how many more to come. I realized today that I don't much mind changing slots at the Creek. I love working there. I love the people, I love the mission, I love the teaching. As long as God can use me there - I'll keep serving. I look at Willow as one big puzzle. I'm one piece in that huge puzzle - and I keep trying to fit into different holes. Hopefully going back to Impact is the right hole. I pray that it is. I am super geeked and super excited. I start monday. And today - I moved my office...

I realized also that I hate hate hate water-proof mascara. That crap never wants to come off! Try water, try makeup remover, try gasoline - and that crap won't budge. Thats great for those moments in Therapy at 7:30 in the morning when your make up is freshly done - and you're bawling like a baby... but is a pain in the butt when you're trying to take it off at the end of a rediculously long day. Oh well - there is no happy medium in the world... Well I guess there is - and that's called "being a boy". :)

The past few days I've spent a lot of time alone. After many weeks of people overdose, I chose to spend the last few days or evenings by myself catching up on life. It's refreshing. :) I spent that precious time getting rid of a bunch of un-used stuff, completing all my Christmas Returns/Exchanges/GiftCard Redemptions/etc, wrote thank you notes, caught up on paperwork, and on and on and on. It's getting caught up on little stuff like that, that makes me so much happier and healthier on the inside.

So, I had a rude couple of awakenings in the last couple of days about my health and my appearance. When I saw a lady on "The Biggest Loser" tonight, who was only 10 lbs heavier than I am - I finally realized that I'm so out of shape and have stopped caring! Well, I shouldn't say that I stopped caring - cause I always care about this issue - it's just that I stopped doing anything about it. This is more than a weight issue for me - it affects my apperance, my wardrobe... :) , my self image, attitude, etc. I think I finally got the wake up call that I had been waiting for - to take control of it - and start eating healthier and whip myself back into shape. Starting next week, I have to hold my own on the production staff again - and keep up with high schoolers! I can't do that, in this shape I'm in!

And we've now come to the point in the blog where i don't know what else to say - and now I feel like a schmo. My eye balls are burning - so I must sleep.

Peace out home fries.

::Things I miss::

2007-12-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

..My parents buying my groceries..
..Sunshine..
..No Snow..
..The ability to wear high heels - that won't get you trapped in slush or make your feet freeze off..
..Coke..
..Chipotle..
..My Hyundai Tiburon..
..Working on the FAST team..
..Being in Shape..
..Wheaton North Sporting events every Friday night..
..My RotC team..
..Snap, Crackle, Pop..
..Slurpees..

Ahhh, if only I could have some of those things back...

A froggy

2007-11-18T09:19:00.000-08:00

So, I think that a froggy stole my voice when I was sleeping, and decided to replace it with a 40 year old smoker's voice. Call me to be amused. :)

Worn Out

2007-11-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

I'm worn out. Kapeesh?

I don't typically get really worn out. I'm worn out physically, I'm worn out emotionally, I'm worn out relationally, and spiritually - and I don't know how to fix it.

I finally determined that I'm not going back to school... unless God does some crazy things in my heart, it won't be any time soon. I am paying off my car and my debt instead of going to school. That's a pretty big desicion to make in life... I feel like it's as serious as getting married! But I feel like it's a smart move... and will hopefully be beneficial.

I feel like boys, my living situation, work, volunteering, my health, etc... are all sitting in these big moments - waiting for some big transition. I'm trying to pray a lot - to see what God has behind the next door! I can just take one decision at a time...

Work is kicking my butt lately. I agreed to work tons of overtime a while back, and now I'm wondering if I made the right decision.... I'm getting kinda sick of the Creek...

Anyways, I'm off to making DVDs, picking up props, and placing an order for 300 costumes.

Peace out ya'll.

Woot Woot!

2007-10-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

So, not more than like an hour later - UPDATE!

The baby was born!!! 7:45pm, 6lbs 14 oz, Conrad Joe Keith Jackson. Mommy and Baby are doing GREAT! Kristyn and Joe - I love you to pieces!!! I can't wait to come and visit sometime - hopefully soon!!!

Woot woot! I'm an "auntie"!

Newness

2007-10-23T16:53:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be an "auntie" today!!! My bestest, bestest friend Kristyn in Maryland went into labor real early this morning. I'm still waiting for the official phone call saying that Conrad Joe Keith Jackson is born!!! I love you girlfriend! You can do it!

I have babysat three times in the last few days, and I love love love every minute of it. I love baby cuddling. :) I could do it all day long. Maybe that should be my new profession.

Lots of big news today: lots of relationships taking "the next big step". Wether that's officially dating, being engaged, or having a baby!! I love it! It almost feels like spring! Something's in the water - watch out - you might catch it!

Sorry, I haven't posted in a long time. I'm a shmo. But I don't think it matters, as I really only have like 2 readers.

Peace.

I wish....

2007-09-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

... that bald guys in red Taurus' didn't pick their nose while sitting in traffic right next to me.

... that solid orange shirts were outlawed for the state of Illinois.

... that the toilets didn't spew water at you when you flush them.

... that I could attend a Hillsong United worship concert every week. I would even settle for every month.

... that I could find Rascal Flatt's tickets for free.

... that I could wear flip flops year round.

... that rolly polly ladies in green camries didn't draw in their eyebrows with a pencil while sitting at stop lights.

... that I could date John Mayer.

... that I could have a Raspberry Mocha Frappuccino sitting bed side, totally chilled every morning when I wake up.

... that a pillow wasn't all I could cuddle with right now.

... that I could leave for my road trip today, and not next Saturday. Kristin - hold that baby in till I get there!

... that I could find a 6 foot tall staff for Moses.

... that I could afford to get a haircut.

... that Ritz camera receives my dud of a camera and decides to replace it, free of charge.

... that a super cool hot-phone appears under the Christmas Tree.

... that everyone in the world could attend a church where the pastor mispronounces the word "Sectional" and says "Sexual" instead - and the congregation errupts with laughter.

Can't all my wishes come true?

Procrastination, Loss of Time

2007-09-04T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, since my last post (I can't believe it's been almost 2 months...) I've taken a road trip to Missouri to visit family, Moved from Elgin to Algonquin, Went to a gorgeous wedding in Michigan, Went to the Brookfield Zoo for the first time, and have gone to a few killer concerts. Imbetween all that, I guess I've been working.

Since moving to Algonquin over a month ago, I have been without wireless at home. So, I guess that has to do with the fact that I haven't been posting. There's something wrong with trying to blog at work. I get too distracted with everything else I have going on! So, currently, I'm sitting in a Panera Bread, begging the manager to stay open past 9PM so I can keep working....

Speaking of Panera Bread, there are a lot of highschoolers working here tonight. Well, actually not working. I guess wandering around looking like they're working.

Sometimes I wish I could just go back a few years when I didn't really have much to be responsible for... and just slack off. Being responsible for so much in life isn't easy. Oh well, I guess I'd rather be 21 than 19 when I think long and hard about it.

There is so much I could type out right now... but so little time and space.

My current work responsibilities: Line producing a series of 5 videos that we're using come, middle of October at Willow. I'm super excited, and I love doing it.
So, I'm off to Meijer (Thank God it's 24 hours) to buy some props for the shoots.
Round the clock working! Nothing but the best, here at the Creek.

Adios, I'm out.
I love lamp.

Kinda Lost and Confused

2007-07-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry Beki, I know it's been too long since my last post... here's one for ya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever been at a point in life where you feel like you have a fresh chance at starting over? I've felt like that recently. I kinda feel like God's got his gracious hand on me. With that opportunity for reconciliation, redemption, and newness comes a feeling of being lost, confused, frightened, and utterly frustrated.

I wake up somedays and am extrememly hopeful that maybe today I'll live my life the right way and make some good decisions... but there's other days that I wake up and don't think about it, and make some of the worst decisions I could have ever made.

Waking up and asking for God's help through-out the day makes a huge difference. The days when I walk through my day without him by my side, I feel this lost and confused feeling. My attitude sucks, my decision making skills are weak, and do things that don't benefit me in the end.

I have had some extrememly tough decisions to make in the last couple of days. Honestly, It's all really devistating. But I feel like it's God's way of trying to stretch me in trusting him and relying on him for love.

I heard a friend the other day say something along these lines: The phrase, 'You complete me..(said in romantic context) is absurd. Someone should not be in a relationship until they are 100% complete in themselves.' That keeps running through my mind, over and over again.

I think I need to work on becoming the person that God wants me to be, always striving towards that goal. I would like to stop worrying about who other people want me to turn into. Turning into the camelion in every situation is not the way I wanna live my life. I wanna live my life to its fullest and i don't really want to turn into a different person for someone else.

I feel like I need to grow in: strength, trust, love, compassion, grace, loyalty, and honesty. That's a big list... Woah, kinda overwhelming.

I leave tomorrow for Missouri to visit some family. I am driving down there by myself. I'm so excited to have a 6 hour drive all by myself... just me and the corn fields... to do a lot of praying, contemplation, and processing.

Would you pray for me? I think I need it.

And as soon as I get back, I jump into moving.. Oiyvay... this is stressful...

Creepy Crawlies

2007-07-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

So, I have 15 random pink dots on my right leg. They busted out today at camp. Would you vote that it's A) Chiggers B) Mosquito bites C) a spider that was hiding in my sleeping bag?

They haven't itched all day, until now... what do you think it could be?

2007-07-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

I am broken. I am in need of God's grace and mercy.

Scamming the government

2007-06-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm driving down I-90 today, and take the off ramp to get to 355 south. There's a tollway there... and I am planning to zip on through the I-Pass lane and think nothing of it. Well, I notice a van pulled over on the right, and I notice that the van has Kentucky plates, with no-one inside.

As I pull through and head on my way, I see in my rear-view mirror, a man running through all of the toll lanes, crouching over.

Was he from Kentucky, thinking he could pick up all of the loose change off the ground? Was he trying to make a couple bucks?

Or was he from Kentucky, blew through the I-Pass lane not knowing any better, and felt so guilt that he pulled over and RAN back to pay it by hand? Maybe he was skipping over lanes to get to the very one that he blew through?

I wish that I could have pulled over and asked him. I should have.

Either way it was amusing. :)

P.S. Did I mention that it was 5:30 prime traffic hour? :)

Love is in the air...

2007-06-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

So, I have these friends.. let's call them Bob & Nancy (for the sake of keeping their identities hidden). :)

Bob and Nancy are in love... after being married for 20 years already. They get so excited when they see each other in the hallways at work. They always sit by each other whenever possible. They always glance at each other from across the room. He lights up every time he talks about her. They call each other to check in. All after 20 years of marriage!

Where do I find that? I wanna be like that after 20 years! Sign me up. I hope that when i'm that age, i still have the same romance brewing in my marriage.

I went to a wedding for some friends tonight. And they are in love. L.O.V.E. It just makes me smile. I'm so happy for them.

This makes the total 6.

2007-06-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

That's right, I've now officially moved 6 times in my measly 21 year old life. Kinda crazy, knowing that I have friends who have lived in the same house their entire life.

Hanover Park - Roselle - Elgin - Wheaton - Hoffman Estates - Now South Elgin. I guess I kind of have come full circle, making it back to Elgin. lol

Tonight I moved into a family's basement. I love this family. I call them my 2nd parents. They rock.

This situation is temporary, and that's ok. I need to look for a good quality low-rent-paying situation where I won't be taking up other people's space. :)

I feel kinda funny living in someone else's home with all my stuff here. My mind is playing games on me - cause I feel like it's so temporary, only for a couple days - but all of my stuff is here - so it means I'm here for a while. I dunno. It doesn't make sense... but my poor brain is so confused.

I'm off to sleep in someone else's bed, in someone else's house...

One More Down, 20 To Go

2007-06-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

That's right. I just landed from going to yet another of the 50 states, that I have left to visit. And only 20 more to go. Here's the post that I wrote while on the airplane tonight:

Staying in the Grand Central Hyatt Hotel, seeing Grand Central Station and thinking of Madagascar, experiencing 24 hour diners, eating rediculously good New York cheese-cake, romaing time square till 1:00 am, seeing my first broadway show - A Chorus Line, experiencing one of the most diverse city's ever, my first time riding the subway/metro, becoming poor from all of the tips I had to give, making the taxi a part of my regular routine, realizing that Chicago is a much more cashless society than New York City, hailing my first cab, experiencing my first major league baseball game - go Yankees, bargaining with illegal salesman in a park for a "Kate Spade" handbag and a "Coach" purse, feeling so uncomfortable and chlosterphobic in China Town, getting to see my 14 year old cousin play percussion in his high school orchestra at Carnegie Hall, getting to wander through central park and imagine many movie scenes that have happened there, getting to jump in the famous fountain where the all-too-famous intro to Friends was shot, getting to eat in Mickey Mantle's restaurant, never forgetting that even cab drivers have a life and a story, getting to see the shooting of the next John Malkovich movie, getting a tan while sitting on the top of a double decker bus for a never-ending tour, thanking God that I don't live in NYC and don't have to sit in traffic 24/7, getting to keep on the look-out for celebrities, seeing nany's pushing around $1000 strollers - wondering which celeb's kids are inside, seeing the statue of liberty, the Empire State building, Trump Towers, and seeing that Manhattan really never sleeps... These all cost money and were awesome... But spending time with family is priceless...

This weekend I got to be with my mom and 2 aunts and my cousin. None of whom I get to see very often. My aunts love me a lot - sometimes I have a hard time comprehending that. It was so fun catching up with them, planning upcoming visits, and just having a girly weekend. My mom and I are working on our relationship. As this weekend was a stretch for us, I'm glad we ended up going. We got to talk and experience some awesome things together.

Vacations are always a challenge for me. They force me to disconnect from work and my normal routine. I easily get stressed out when travelling, but this time went exceptionally well! I ended up finishing Shane Claiborne's "Irresistable Revolution" as well as reading Jarrett Steven's "The Deity Formerly Known As God". Both were awesome books. Both are easy reads... which God knows, I need. :) Both challenged me to make my faith my own, and challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone. Can't wait to stir on my findings even more. Next, it's on to Blue Like Jazz.

I learned something about myself on this trip... I value solitude and alone time. I needed this plane right tonight to recoup from being with 3 other women for 4 days in a row! I was eating, sleeping, and pracitcally showering with them! Ahhh! I found myself in somewhat of an unpleasant mood last night and today. I was on stimulation and community overload. I think this is an important thing to realize and know about myself as I go into future dating / hopefully someday a marriage relationship. Just something I had never really thought about... Some about vacations always causes me to do a lot of extra thinking. For some reason this weekend, I started praying for my future husband. It was just something that was laid on my heart. Never had really done it before. Is it weird? What if I have met him already? What if he was one of the many interesting people I met this weekend? I don't know, but I'm excited whatever the case may be. NYC is a great place for lovers - maybe seeing all these rediculously cute couples got my mind in the romantic mood. Oh well!

I think this is the most beneficial 2 hours I've ever had. I read almost a whole book, took a nap, listened to my IPOD for the first time this trip, and now I wrote this whole entry. I'm kinda scared to step off this plane tonight. I'm entering a week of moving, Arts Conference, Father's Day, and a 2 day wedding committment. Ahh!!! Well, gotta go put the tray up.

I'm out.

New Yawk

2007-06-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

vacation... ahhhhh... doesn't that word just relax you?

I leave in less than 24 hours, to good old New York... and I cannot wait. I have wanted to go for years, and now I am finally going. Every time I get to go away, it's kinda sureal. I feel like I'm almost doing something wrong! I have a problem relaxing and letting loose. I'm working on it, though.

This is going to be just a short trip. Just 4 days. I'm going with my mom and my 2 aunts - one of which i haven't seen in probably 5 or 6 years. I'm so excited. :)

The real reason for going, is because my 16 year old cousin, Zach, is playing in his high school orchestra at Carnegie Hall. How stinking awesome!!!

I hope to go to Ground Zero, take a stroll through Central Park, hit up Serendipity, see the Yankees play, go see a Broadway Show, see the Statue of Liberty, and go to Radio City Music Hall. That's a lot - I hope I can hit 'em all!

Well friends, I must go back to work. I am about to find out what it really means to Orbit the Giant Hairball.

::Alone::

2007-06-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

What does that word mean? According to Wikepedia, it means "By one's self; apart from, or exclusive of, others; single; solo; solitary;—applied to a person or thing." I am apart from others? I'm single... flying solo...

Is the feeling of 'alone' rated by how many numbers you have in your phone? If so, I have 213.... Is the feeling of 'alone' rated by how many facebook friends you have? If so, I have 231... Somehow, I have friends, but I still feel alone.

I want to learn to live a life full of community and deep relationships - male and female. I long to experience accountability and wisdom from people who are much smarter than me. :) I want to be in a romantic relationship with someone that makes me grow as a person - someone who challenges me.

I do long for all of that and more, but I think that I have a serious case of the Mondays. I was alone at work all day, I am home alone right now, all of my friends are busy tonight, so that's leaving alone all night... I am moving out, I am single, and i'm not in school getting a regular dose of community....

I feel lame.